Enemies to Enemies

Chapter 3

He found it difficult to settle back into work upon his return.

Even once his member returned to normal, there was a bewildering array of processes that he couldn't stop being aware of. The expansion and contraction of his chest, once an imitated habit meant to put humans at ease and now a biological necessity. Blinking, as apparently one's eyes were another body part that needed to remain moist. To say nothing of his first experience of defecation, which had been unpleasant.

When he had at last managed to focus on something, he was only able to maintain that focus for an hour or so before pain in his neck and shoulders pulled it away again. Tano had previously observed that humanoids seemed to dislike remaining stationary, so he sat up to roll his shoulders, causing an alarmingly loud noise. The noise was accompanied by the bizarre feeling of something... no, several somethings popping in succession inside his neck.

Tano had a furious debate with himself before calling in Ennrian to awkwardly describe what had happened and ask if he needed to be concerned.

To his profound relief, Ennrian did not smile. "Yes, I can imagine that would be alarming. Joints popping is one of those things so normal that you sort of forget that it happens. Something to do with gas bubbles forming in the fluid around the joints, I believe?"

"Ah. I see." Tano smiled slightly. "Thank you for not laughing at my foolish question, Captain. Remind me to give you a raise."

Ennrian laughed. "The Duke handles our pay, sir," she reminded him. "But the sentiment is appreciated."

Whatever Tano would have said next was interrupted by a loud noise from his midsection. "I had lunch," he complained.

"And now it's nearly dinner," Ennrian replied calmly.

Tano started as he realized she was right, discomfited to see how much time he'd wasted fretting about unfamiliar bodily functions.

"You should go home, sir," Ennrian said firmly. "I can handle things here, and Doctor Banu said we weren't to let you overwork yourself." Her expression darkened when Tano opened his mouth to argue. "You can't get used to ignoring your body's signals, sir. It won't do anyone any good."

Tano gave her an irritated look. "Fine."

He trudged tiredly back to the rooming house, where he shocked the landlady by putting together a plate of food and taking it upstairs. After unlocking his door, he stood in the doorway, staring at the mostly bare, undecorated room, which suddenly seemed as if it belonged to a stranger. Just inside the door was a small table and two shabby padded chairs. Against the far wall was the small, narrow bed. The tiny closet, which had previously been empty, somehow seemed more empty with only a few spare uniforms hanging in it.

The chest of drawers, too, was mostly empty, except for some personal papers. Yet another thing he'd have to rectify soon. He'd need more pairs of smallclothes than the three pairs Doctor Banu had given him. The common-issue Watch boots seemed fine, but he'd need socks. A shaving kit if he wanted to remain clean-shaven. (Not that Tano knew how to shave.)

...all of which was too much to face right now.

Tano sat at his table and choked down his dinner - roast pork and potatoes with stewed vegetables - because he had to. As he ate, the terrible grief he hadn't given himself space to feel clawed its way into his chest.

He'd never change again.

When he was finished eating, he stumbled to the bed and had another first. He wept.

 

 

That night, Tano dreamed.

He was standing in the Duke's study with Doctor Banu and Eldreth. His member was fully hard, and Eldreth was rubbing his erection with the flat of her palm while the three of them made incongruous small talk.

When Tano struggled to answer a question about the weather, Banu frowned at him disapprovingly. "You didn't do that reading, did you?"

"I did," Tano protested.

"Then why aren't you initiating sexual intercourse?" Banu snorted impatiently. "You obviously want to, and she's clearly willing."

"It's not proper," was the only argument Tano could muster. "We're in the Duke's study."

Eldreth smiled and increased the pressure of her hand. "I'm sure he won't mind."

 

 

Tano woke with a start to find that he was humping the bunched-up blanket, and that his smallclothes were damp with pre-seminal fluid. Disgusted with himself, he got up, grabbed a wrap, and went to the baths. No one else was using them this early, which was just as well. It was difficult to get himself clean without aggravating his state of sexual excitement, and Tano cursed in rather blistering language about it as he refused to give in to the instinct to gratify himself.

He was just going to have to learn to master these impulses. There was nothing else for it.

Back in his room, he put on the loosest pair of smallclothes that the doctor had given him, hoping that the more relaxed fit would help to avoid unnecessary arousal. He was halfway to Watch headquarters by the time he learned he'd made a critical mistake. His penis and testicles were... dangling. The Doctor had said some people preferred this fit, but why would anyone prefer this?

Tano's treacherous feet took advantage of his distraction, delivering him to Eldreth's instead of his office as he'd intended. Eldreth beamed at him from behind the counter as he walked in. "Tano! What a surprise to see you!"

Telling himself that he was committed now, Tano steeled himself and walked up to the counter. "I... didn't have time for breakfast." He looked up at the menu board behind the counter and blanched at the bewildering array of options. "I'd appreciate some advice on what I should get."

Eldreth happily made some choices for him. Once Tano had paid, she surprised him by joining him at a small table outside, where she kindly told him about what he was having - herbal tea and a scone with jam and butter. Eating was less overwhelming than it had been the previous day, enough that Tano was able to venture opinions about what he was eating, which he was fairly certain was the polite thing to do. Eldreth certainly seemed to enjoy his opinions, if the way she was smiling at him was any indication.

He was nearly finished with his breakfast when Eldreth laughed at something he'd said, leaned forward, and--

--the collar of her dress was definitely much lower than it had been yesterday.

Tano was fully hard in an instant. Cheeks flaming, he stood, tugging down his jacket in the hopes that it would hide the reaction he couldn't control. "Thank you for the meal, and your company," he choked out. "I'm afraid I must get back to my duties. Please excuse me."

He hurried off before she could say anything, completely and utterly mortified, and stomped into the station without making eye contact with anyone. Once he had reached the safety of his office, he closed his door and collapsed into his chair, where he dropped his head in his hands and indulged in a small crisis.

Eldreth was a person. An undeniably lovely, very charming person, who deserved to be seen as more than a collection of sexually titillating body parts. So he most definitely was not going to think about her breasts, or imagine what they looked like naked, and he especially wasn't going to wonder if they were as soft as they looked.

Tano knew that grabbing breasts was a regular part of the sexual act. In the encounters he'd broken up, the grabbees generally seemed to enjoy it when it was something they'd consented to, but he'd never understood what the grabber got out of it. Until now. Because he was hard, so fucking hard that the pulse throbbing in his member hurt, just from thinking about Eldreth's breasts.

What would it feel like to have his erect penis between her breasts?

Tano surprised himself by making a noise - a completely undignified half-whimper, half-moan.

This was madness.

His chest grew tight, and his heart started hammering in his chest. Tano found himself gasping for air like a fish, and for a moment, he considered sending for Doctor Banu before common sense asserted itself. He'd talked enough people through anxiety attacks to be able to recognize one. Tano struggled to follow the advice he always gave, taking long, slow, and even breaths, determined to persevere without any assistance. Finally, after the longest, most miserable hour of his life, his arousal faded, taking his anxiety with it.

 

 

Tano berated himself for his cowardice as he hid in the office for the entire day, unable to face Eldreth. He only left after Eldreth's was closed, heading with some reluctance to The Drunken Lord. That oily toad, Karchak, needed to know he was being watched.

He took his usual seat on the second level, which was the one table with an unobstructed view of the entire tavern. Instead of one of the usual servers, however, it was Karchak who came up to take his order.

"How's Eldreth?" Karchak asked innocently, tossing his long mahogany braid in a fair imitation of the cafe owner. "You looked like you enjoyed your breakfast together."

Tano glared. "She makes me uncomfortable," he surprised himself by grumbling. "In fact, she specifically wore a garment meant to make me uncomfortable. Why would she do that?"

Karchak's answering grin had an unpleasant edge. "Because you liked it."

Honesty prevented Tano from saying that he hadn't. He had in fact liked Eldreth's dress so much that he'd spent an hour hyperventilating in his office about how much he'd liked it. "I'll take the stew," he said, fishing out a silver and leaving it on the table. "The tip is for the server, not you."

Karchak sneered, pocketed the coin, and stalked off.

 

 

The following morning, Tano trudged up to the palace to talk to Doctor Banu, who wasn't particularly helpful - Banu seemed to feel that Tano should "allow" himself to "explore" these deplorable new urges.

He took the long way back to the station to avoid walking past Eldreth's.

That evening at The Drunken Lord, Tano was surprised to see Eldreth come in with several friends. Their party was shown to a table on the first floor that was almost directly under his. When Eldreth took her seat he realized that he had the perfect line of sight to look down the front of her dress. He had been guiltily staring for several seconds when, for some reason, she looked up and saw him.

Eldreth smiled and waved.

Tano blushed and waved back, hoping he hadn't been too obvious about looking at her breasts.

He had been, apparently. While her friends were busy quizzing the server about their options, she held eye contact with him and started sucking obscenely on her index finger.

Tano couldn't breathe. He couldn't fucking breathe.

His face was on fire and his member felt like it was about to explode as he staggered to the washroom, sat on the floor in the corner of the far stall, and had a full-blown panic attack.

What the fuck was wrong with him? Was this what living as a humanoid was like all the time? All of these automatic reactions to things, and the lumps of meat in their skulls making everything go haywire over nothing at all? How was he supposed to do anything but exist entirely at the mercy of these biological urges?

How could he live like this?

He was still crying and wheezing when Karchak opened the door of the stall he was hiding in. "What are you doing?" Tano blustered, pulling his knees up to hide his shame.

It was humiliating having Karchak, whom Tano usually towered over, look down at him with such naked pity. "Look at you. You're a mess."

Tano couldn't argue with that.

Karchak grunted as he clearly came to a decision of some sort. "Well. Looks like it's up to me to get you straightened out."

The ludicrousness of that statement provoked a bark of laughter from Tano. "Why in the seven hells would you help me?"

Karchak's lip curled. "Because it's not fun beating you if you can't catch me."

"I always catch you," Tano shot back.

"Right now you couldn't catch a cold."

Dammit. He was right. Tano sniffled and angrily wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "What's it going to cost me?"

"Your suffering is more than payment enough."

Karchak... wasn't lying. Wasn't even trying to lie. "Fine," Tano finally spat. Whatever Karchak was going to do couldn't possibly be any worse than how he felt right now.

"Fine," Karchak echoed. He jerked his head toward the exit. "Go to the store room. I'll meet you there in a few minutes."

Tano knew the way - he'd hidden there plenty of times. He made it there without anyone seeing him, then paced as he tortured himself by thinking about the look on Eldreth's face as she'd mimed sucking his member. How she'd made it very clear that she liked him looking at her breasts, and she wanted him to do more than just look.

Karchak came in a few minutes later and locked the door behind him. "There. Now we'll have some privacy."

Tano's heart felt like it was about to hammer its way out of his chest. "How... what do--"

"Listen," Karchak interrupted gruffly. "I'm sure the doctors gave you books full of human nonsense and sentimentality, but the simple truth is this: nature has engineered us so that sex is one of the most pleasurable activities humanoids can indulge in, because if it wasn't we wouldn't bother propagating our various species."

Tano considered this, then nodded slowly. That honestly made a lot more sense to him than Banu's platitudes about love, pleasure, and 'humanoid connection'. "So I'm just supposed to be a slave to my biology then?" he asked wearily.

"Hardly." Karchak gestured at the erection that was visible even through Tano's uniform jacket. "This is like an itch. If you scratch it, it will go away."

"And... how..."

Karchak's smile was sweetly poisonous. "Do you want me to show you?"

Tano sighed and surrendered to the inevitable. "Yes. Please."