Enemies to Enemies

Chapter 2

Lorek must have carried him out, because Tano didn't remember the trip back.

He woke up in the Duke's palace in a large feather bed, feeling only moderately like death, which was admittedly an improvement. When Tano groaned and forced his eyes open, he saw Doctor Banu - a gnome who had served as the Duke's personal physician for many years - sitting by the side of his bed.

"Ah! You're awake!" Banu exclaimed, his weathered, brown face crinkling into a smile that made him look like a dried apple.

"It--" The inside of his mouth felt strange. Why didn't it want to form words? "It wasn't a dream."

"No." Banu shook his head and handed him a glass of water. "Now drink that."

Tano drained the entire glass and discovered that apparently, human mouths were supposed to be significantly more moist than the outer portion of their epidermis. Gross. "I'm human now?"

"Yes," Banu said calmly.

Tano levered himself upright, wincing at the strange sensation of stiffened joints protesting the movement. He looked down at his hand, which looked as it always had, but when he rubbed his knuckles he could feel skin sliding over bone that had never been there before. When he raised a hand to his neck, he was unnerved to feel the steady beat of a pulse against his fingers. The shock of it provoked a sudden intake of breath, something that happened without Tano's conscious direction.

It was... disconcerting.

Disturbing if he was being honest with himself.

His "human" form had always been a gelatinous shape with no structure, a shape he'd held his entire life and that he'd learned to move as humans did without having to consciously think about it. But now he had all these... bits. Hard bits, and squishy bits, and liquid-y bits. And this was his life now, these bits, because he'd never change his shape again.

Tano eyes stung, and it took effort to force words around the sudden obstruction in his throat. "I chose a side," he croaked. "And now I'm being forced to live with that choice." There was the feeling of wetness on his cheek, and he raised his hand to discover that the stinging in his eyes had been tears.

Doctor Banu sighed. "How are you feeling physically?"

"Physically." Tano wiped his eyes and attempted to take an inventory of the bewildering array of sensations he was experiencing. "There is... pain in my midsection," he said slowly, placing a hand over his lower abdomen. "Something is... moving. Rumbling? And my head hurts."

"You're hungry, then," Banu said. He hopped down out of his chair. "Why don't you get dressed while I fetch us a meal." He patted a stack of clothing at the end of the bed, then added more delicately, "roominess is a matter of personal preference, so I've left you several options."

Then, with that baffling comment, Banu left and Tano was alone.

 

 

He discovered what Banu had meant when he was struggling to wrestle his irritatingly floppy new genitals into a pair of smallclothes without damaging himself. Once he'd gotten into them, he wasn't sure he cared for the feeling of having his genitals held so tightly, but supposed it might be better than the feeling of... dangling.

How did humanoids deal with all of this?

Banu found Tano waiting in the suite's sitting room when he returned several minutes later carrying a stack of books. A servant trailed along behind him with a tray of food, which was set on a table by the fireplace. Banu thanked the servant before waving Tano over to join him.

"I figured it was best to start with simple foods, since you've never had to digest anything before." Banu said as he sliced into a freshly-baked loaf of bread. An aroma filled the air that caused Tano's stomach to growl alarmingly. "If you don't have any trouble with bread, butter, and cheese, you can move onto exploring more complex fare."

Banu slathered butter onto a thickly cut slice, then handed it to Tano, who regarded it dubiously. He'd pretended to eat often enough to be familiar with the mechanics of it, but he wasn't thrilled about the idea of having to do it several times a day. It seemed so much less efficient than simply absorbing one's nutrients.

Banu leveled Tano with a flat stare. "Eat."

Tano scowled and bit into the bread, only to find himself arrested by a welter of new sensations -  he'd had no idea that the experience of food had more dimensions than flavor. Apparently there was also texture, and temperature, and... other things he was sure he wouldn't be able to pin down until later. He chewed slowly and swallowed, but was too tired to form an opinion as to whether he actually enjoyed it.

The pair ate in silence until Banu judged Tano had had enough. "No sense in making yourself sick. You'll learn how to tell when you're hungry and when you're full with trial and error. Now." Banu hopped down from his chair and gestured for Tano to follow him. I'm going to show you some things, and then you're going to do some reading."

Banu took him to the baths, where Tano received twenty minutes of humiliatingly thorough instruction on defecation, urination, and proper genital hygiene. Tano's face was burning hotly by the time Banu was done, which the doctor assured him was a perfectly normal reaction to embarrassment. Yet another tiny betrayal of this new biology.

When they were finished, they returned to what were apparently Banu's personal quarters. "You'll stay with me tonight, just in case you get ill or experience any other alarming symptoms. If you feel alright in the morning, I don't see why you can't go home and return to duty, so long as you take it easy." Banu gestured to the stack of books that he'd brought. "These are for you. I want you to start with the one on top and read the marked chapters before you go to sleep. The others are for later, as you have time."

With that, Banu retired to his room.

Tano sighed and opened the top book to the first marked chapter, and...

No. No. Absolutely not.

He slammed the book shut, his cheeks blazing so hot that it was actually painful. Bad enough that eating and... elimination were apparently mandatory. Sexual gratification, however, wasn't necessary for survival, and he'd be damned if he'd give into mammalian biological imperative! This new existence was already enough of a curse without getting into the disgustingly messy business of copulation.

Thus resolved, Tano set aside the first book and picked up the second.

 

 

Unaccustomed to the different bodily signals of needing rest, Tano fell asleep by the fire and woke up with a horrible pain in his neck from sleeping at an odd angle.

It was time to sleep in a bed, apparently.

Grumbling, Tano rose, stretched, and retired to the suite's guest room, where he stared in bewilderment at the bed. He'd still been naked when he woke up - had that been a matter of custom, or expediency? Tano knew that humanoids were generally very fussy about nudity, but the idea of getting into bed with all his clothes on seemed uncomfortable. Finally, he settled for removing everything but his smalls, got into bed, and fell asleep as soon as he'd pulled up the covers.

 

 

He didn't wake again until morning, opening his eyes to see weak pre-dawn sunlight streaming through the window over his bed. Was he still tired? He couldn't tell.

He knew vaguely that different humanoid subspecies had different sleep requirements. Stake-outs with Ennrian had taught him that elves required only an hour or two of semi-conscious meditation per night. How much sleep did humans generally require? He should have asked.

Tano flopped from his side onto his back and grimaced at an unexpected... chafing in his smallclothes. He blinked and threw back the covers, making a noise of dismay at what he saw - there seemed to be something wrong with his penis. It had swollen overnight to approximately twice the size it had been the previous evening. When he prodded at it tentatively at it through his smalls, it was stiff, rather than soft, and distressingly sensitive.

Tano pulled down the waistband of his smallclothes to investigate further and was alarmed when his penis actually sprung upright. Not only had it increased in girth and length, but it was also discolored. His normally tawny brown skin was flushed a dark berry red, with the head of his phallus nearly a dark purple.

Tano pulled his smallclothes back on, threw on a shirt, and went to knock on Doctor Banu's door in a panic. "Doctor. Doctor."

There was the sound of scrambling before Doctor Banu threw open the door. "Yes? What is it? What's wrong?"

"There's something wrong with my..." Tano's face flushed, and he found himself struggling for the least humiliating term. "Reproductive member."

The professional mask slipped a bit as Banu sighed with distinct annoyance. "Describe," he said shortly. When Tano did so, he shook his head with distinct irritation. "You didn't read those chapters, did you?"

Tano grit his teeth. "No."

Banu crossed his arms. "Tano, I told you to read them for a reason."

Tano shifted uncomfortably. "Well I didn't, so now I'm..." He trailed off, uncertain how to finish the sentence, and shrugged unhappily.

The elderly gnome exhaled noisily. "Well. I'm going to explain what's happening, and then I'm going to go back to bed and you're going to read those chapters. That's an order."

Tano nodded grudgingly.

To his credit, Banu got his professional doctor's mask back in place. "What you're experiencing is perfectly normal. It's customary for people with penises to get erections when sleeping."

Tano made an unhappy noise. "Then, what do I--"

"Read. The. Chapters. All of them, from start to finish. And if I don't think you've read them when I get up, I will quiz you. Publicly."

Tano's ears were burning now, as well as his face. "That won't be necessary," he ground out. "Thank you, Doctor."

Banu didn't quite slam the door in his face.

Chagrined, Tano returned to his room and grudgingly started reading.

He'd been familiar with the mechanics of humanoid reproduction, of course. It was hard to be an officer of the City Watch without being made aware of the mechanics - a not-inconsiderable part of the job involved stopping people from having sex in places where sex was not supposed to be had. But the book contained more than just biological explanations and colorful diagrams. There was also an entire chapter about safety, and another about consent.

Which Tano could reluctantly see the sense of. If one was going to engage in sexual activity, it was only rational to desire that one had an understanding of how to do so in a respectful fashion that didn't harm others. The chapter after that, however, was devoted to pleasure, and opened with a fairly rhapsodic introduction to the joys of self-pleasure in particular.

"Absolutely not," Tano muttered.

He returned to the book on nutrition, and was relieved to discover that his "erection" had gone away on its own by the time Banu woke up.

 

 

After a final examination, Doctor Banu provided Tano with one of the plain City Watch uniforms Tano had always imitated.

Others had been sent to the very small, very plain room he rented in a boarding house not far from Watch headquarters. As comfort had never previously been a concern, he'd just needed a place to keep his things and to have privacy when he went inert at night. Was he going to have to reconsider that arrangement now?

The reaction of the officers on duty when he arrived was embarrassingly effusive. Tano stoically endured the concern of his officers as best he could, reassuring them that he was fine but refusing to answer any of their more personal questions. Finally, Ennrian dispersed the crowd, telling them all to get back to work.

"My thanks, Captain," Tano muttered to his second-in-command.

"Any time, sir." Ennrian gave him a small smile. "We're all glad that you're alright."

Tano cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I don't suppose you'd be able to catch me up on what I've missed?"

"Of course, sir."

Ennrian was an eminently capable second, but there was still a lot of paperwork that needed Tano's personal attention, it seemed. Tano worked at it with a will until his stomach started to complain, prompting the realization that lunch was yet another problem that he'd now have to solve every day.

Thankfully, Ennrian didn't laugh when he asked for her opinion on the best place to get something that would keep him full without challenging his digestion.

 

 

The weight of everyone's unspoken curiosity got to be too much by mid-afternoon, so Tano excused himself to go out on patrol. He was due to make himself seen at The Drunken Lord anyhow - it had been days, and Karchak needed to know that Tano was still alive and kicking. The gods only knew what nefariousness that odious little weasel had gotten up to in his absence.

As he passed by the new cafe just up the block from Karchak's tavern, Eldreth - the owner - smiled prettily at him and waved. She was his equal in height (notable, as Tano was a tall man), with generous curves, long black hair, and greenish skin that spoke to at least one orc grandparent.

Tano had been aware of Eldreth's interest in him before (she was hardly subtle about it), which had previously been a fact without any emotional resonance. But now, in this new body with its biology and reactions, her interest became a lot more real, very compelling, and... completely overwhelming. His cheeks were warm as he waved dazedly back, then immediately tripped over his own feet.

Eldreth's smile widened.

Tano made the mistake of dropping his gaze and immediately found his attention caught by the way her low-collared bodice and full skirt emphasized her ample figure. He was alarmed to experience a sudden rush of heat between his legs, and the feeling of his pulse throbbing in his swelling penis.

His blush deepened as he looked away and hurried off.

Despite his best efforts to focus on patrolling, his thoughts remained fixated on the image of Eldreth, and how her bodice had clearly shown the contours of her breasts, which only provoked a further swelling of his rebellious reproductive member.

"Good afternoon, Tano," a familiar masculine voice called out.

Tano looked up to see Karchak standing on the porch of his tavern. His arms were crossed, and there was an unbearably smug smirk on the dwarf's face.

"How are you feeling?" Karchak asked with transparently false concern.

Tano grunted. "I'm afraid that any rumors you may have heard of my demise were greatly exaggerated."

"That's a relief. I'd hate for any harm to befall such an upstanding member of the community," Karchak drawled, an unpleasant gleam in his green eyes as he dropped his gaze momentarily to Tano's crotch.

Tano had been fairly certain his erection wasn't visible through his heavy uniform jacket, but he couldn't resist looking down to check. He realized too late that he'd given himself away when he looked back up to see Karchak laughing at him.

Tano retreated back to the Watch station.